A baby’s cry can feel especially hard when you have already fed, changed and cuddled them, and you are running short of sleep. You may not always know why your baby is crying, and you may not be able to stop every crying spell. That does not mean you have failed. Your job is to respond, look for signs that something is wrong, and get support when you need it.
At a glance
- Check whether your baby might need a feed, a nappy change, help settling, or relief from being too hot, cold or overstimulated.
- Try gentle holding, slow swaying, a quiet voice or a calmer room. A technique that helps one baby may not help another.
- If you feel overwhelmed, place your baby on their back in their own clear, firm, flat cot or bassinet, step away briefly to calm down, and ask another adult to help if possible. Never shake a baby.
- Speak to a doctor or your baby’s care team promptly if crying is different from your baby’s usual cry or they cannot be comforted, particularly if they are feeding poorly or seem unwell.
- Get emergency medical help if your baby has a weak, high-pitched or continuous cry; trouble breathing; blue, grey, very pale or blotchy skin; is floppy or hard to wake; has a seizure; or is under three months old with a measured temperature of 38°C (100.4°F) or higher.
Start with a few simple checks
Crying is one way a newborn asks for care. Hunger, a wet nappy, tiredness, wind, discomfort, temperature and too much noise or activity can all play a part. Sometimes the reason is not clear. NHS guidance on soothing a crying baby describes these common possibilities and recognises how exhausting a long crying spell can be.
Pause and check your baby from head to toe. Is their nappy wet or soiled? Are they dressed comfortably for the room? Is a piece of clothing pressing on their skin? Could they be tired or need a quieter space? Offer a feed if they show feeding cues or it is time under their care plan. Crying is not proof that breast milk, expressed milk or formula is “wrong” for your baby. If your baby regularly cries through feeds, struggles to feed, or has fewer wet nappies than expected, ask your baby’s clinician for individual advice. Our newborn feeding guide can help you notice cues and nappies without judging how you feed.
Try comfort, one step at a time
Hold your baby securely with their head and neck supported. You could speak or sing softly, sway or walk gently, or move to a calmer room. Some babies settle with quiet sound; others need less stimulation. Trying one or two things at a time can help you notice what seems to comfort your baby. NHS and American Academy of Pediatrics guidance offer these gentle approaches.
You do not need a special product to comfort your baby. Gripe water and gas drops are often suggested, but the AAP notes that evidence has not shown these products to work. Ask your baby’s clinician before giving a newborn a remedy or medicine. If the crying keeps returning or seems linked to feeds, a health professional can help look for a cause rather than leaving you to keep trying products.
If your baby falls asleep while being comforted, move them onto their back in their own clear, firm, flat sleep space for sleep. If you feel sleepy, do this before you doze. Do not leave a sleeping baby on a sofa or use a swing, car seat or sling as their routine sleep space at home. Our safer newborn sleep guide explains the setup in more detail.
A short break can protect both of you
Continuous crying can make a loving caregiver feel angry, frightened or close to losing control. Feeling overwhelmed is a signal to get help, not a character flaw. If someone you trust is there, hand the baby to them for a few minutes. If you are alone, place your baby on their back in their separate, empty cot or bassinet, make sure they are safe, then step into another room briefly to breathe and settle yourself. Return to check on your baby, or call someone who can come and take over. NHS advice and AAP advice support taking a short safe pause.
Never shake, hit or jerk a baby. If you are afraid you might, put your baby in the safe cot immediately and get another adult to help. If crying is leaving you distressed day after day, tell your doctor or postnatal care team how you are feeling. Our postpartum mood guide explains when parents should ask for emotional support.
When crying needs medical help
A cry that is very different from your baby’s usual cry can be a sign that they need an assessment. Contact your doctor or baby’s care team promptly if your baby cannot be comforted, is feeding poorly or simply seems unwell. Tell them when the crying started, what else has changed, and how feeding and nappies have been. Do not wait for a planned check-up if you are worried. NHS guidance on crying and illness recommends trusting your instincts.
Seek emergency care immediately if your baby has a weak, high-pitched or continuous cry; is struggling to breathe; looks blue, grey, very pale or blotchy; is floppy or difficult to wake; has a seizure; or is under three months old with a measured temperature of 38°C (100.4°F) or higher. Use your local emergency service or go to the nearest emergency facility. NHS urgent-care guidance lists these warning signs. A baby can be seriously ill without having every sign on a list.
You are allowed to ask for help even if a clinician finds that your baby is well. Caring for a crying newborn is hard work, and support for the caregiver matters too.
Sources
- NHS: Soothing a crying baby
- American Academy of Pediatrics: Responding to your baby’s cries
- American Academy of Pediatrics: How to calm a fussy baby
- NHS: When to get urgent medical help for babies and children under 5
- NHS: Sudden infant death syndrome
About this article
MomCare Haven Editorial Desk prepared this guide using the sources above. Health guidance and local services can change; we review articles when new evidence or corrections call for an update.
This article offers general information, not a diagnosis or individual treatment plan. Follow your baby’s clinical advice and seek urgent help for warning signs.
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